Monday, March 2, 2015

What's on the box?





The box is something of an old fashioned term for TV these days, given that most people have decidedly unbox-like flat screen TVs.  Triple P's friend Agent DVD has an old Sony 37" CRT TV stuck in his dining room and keeps asking if Triple P would like it. This is very kind but although we might have a slot for it upstairs it weighs 100kg which makes the prospect of lugging it upstairs not very appealing!

Anyway, Triple P watches nearly all of his TV shows as DVD boxed (not 'box') sets but his comparatively new fibreoptic cable system does make it much easier to record (we still use the word 'tape'!) programmes currently showing, without having to wait for the DVDs to come out.

Still, there are comparatively few dramas we watch regularly on TV but here they are.  Illustrated with some of the lovely actresses involved.

Wolf Hall (Series two)

Jessica Raine as Jane Boleyn


Much heralded but glacially slow Tudor drama.  We have managed to watch the first two (of six) programmes but now need to catch up on the last four (it finished last week) with the person we have been watching them with. Caused a stir in Britain the other week when a character used the word 'cunt' (in a perfectly, historically accurate anatomical sense).  Still, prudes were shocked.  A new series is likely if the show does as well at awards time as the BBC hope.

Indian Summers (Series one)

Amber Rose Revah in Indian Summers


Sumptuously produced and beautifully filmed original drama about the British in the Indian hill station of Simla in the nineteen thirties.  They have managed to make each character in the large ensemble cast  identifiably distinct, which is a great achievement.  There has been one sensual scene in each episode so far; nudity free but quite erotic nonetheless.  The scene where one of the leading male characters is patently fingering a lady underneath her dress was surprisingly frank for this sort of show. Hopefully, the programme will continue for the planned future series and, indeed series two was commissioned a couple of days ago.


Mr Selfridge (Series three)

Kara and Hannah Tointon in Mr Selfridge


Downmarket Downton, but this series has shown some new great CGI shots of Oxford street and the Selfridge store.  This new season features the delicious Tointon sisters, although we might have hoped for a few lingerie sccnes for them a la Lesley-Anne Down in Upstairs Dowstairs!  The next series is likely to be the last, according to creator Andrew Davies who only ever conceived four series.


The Musketeers (Series two)

Catherine Salt: the thigh's the limit


Created, oddly, by the man responsible for time travelling dinosaur drama, Primeval, this second series is more spectacular, more violent and has had some nicely sensual scenes, thanks to it's new post 9.00 pm time slot.  Catherine Salt's scene in a window providing a particularly effective paean to the erotic power of the back of the thighs.  A third series has just been announced. 

Atlantis (Series two)

Aiysha Hart


Nicely produced (although they did seem to be trekking through exactly the same wood in every episode) this show (very) loosely based on ancient Greek legends never really settled on its style.  Always fun to watch with some nice wine, and a few olives (they ate a lot of olives in this programme), the second season has been better but not enough to save itself from cancellation, sadly.  Annoyingly, they showed half of the series and then went in for the strange American habit of stopping it for a couple of months before showing the second half of the series.  The last seven episodes are due to be shown in the spring.  Sadly, they will probably spend the budget on more grim crime dramas which the BBC loves.  Triple P doesn't want to watch contemporary shows about criminals and policemen. We really don't!  We want sunshine and pretty girls in floaty dresses, sword fights, ancient palaces and olives! 

Gotham (Season one)

Gotham's pint-sized Camren Bicondova


We have really enjoyed this Batman origins show, which has been visually strong and interestingly cast.  Like most American shows it went into a hiatus (why do they do this?) but the second half of the season is due to start showing this month.  Has been successful in the US so the first season was extended and a second series commissioned. 

Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Season two)

A couple of improvements to the S.H.I.E.L.D. universe


Triple P knows nothing of the comic book characters, other than what we have gleaned from the various Avengers films, so miss a lot of the background and don't recognise some of the characters.  The last episode before the break was totally confusing and we had no idea what was going on so, hopefully, there will be some recap when it returns this month.  We won't know if it has been renewed until around May.  Sadly, no one in the UK bought the Agent Carter spin-off, with the delicious Hayley Atwell, which filled the gap in the schedule in the US.  Let's hope we can eventually get it on DVD.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Creme Eggs - even more revolting than before

Louise Thompson in some real Creme Eggs


Agent Triple P has never had a sweet tooth and remembers his father telling him that "chocolate was for children".  He has, however, associated with a large number of chocolate loving women and one of these was recently moaning about the ruination of the Cadbury's Creme egg by its hated American owners.

Now, personally,  we have always thought that the Creme Egg (first sold in 1963) was one of the most disgusting confections ever made; with sweet Dairy Milk chocolate enrobing (as much posher chocolatiers would say) an almost indescribable mix of sugary yellow and white fondant filling.   However, some women become addicted to these tooth-rotting treats.  We even knew a girl who would grant sexual favours for a six pack of creme eggs (at least to Triple P - we hoped she didn't do that to everyone she met).  Another girl we knew used a Creme Egg to recreate the notorious scene from Japanese erotic classic Ai no Korīda  with predictably messy results.  Creme Eggs are most unusual in that they have a fixed season and are only available from 1st January until Easter Day.  In this period Cadbury's sells more than 200 million of them in Britain.




Now, however, with the hostile acquisition of Cadbury by Kraft four years ago, it is now owned by its spin off, Mondelēz, which is one of those made up corporate nonsense names with no heritage whatsoever (see also Lexus, Häagen-Dazs, Accenture etc.) as opposed to Cadbury established by John Cadbury in 1824.  In fact, said young lady we mentioned before actually lived in Bourneville, the Cadbury company town established in 1879 near Birmingham.




The press over here has been full of the news that the Dairy Milk chocolate always used on the eggs has been replaced with an inferior type for this season.  Also, the boxes of six (which copy the way real eggs are sold, of course) have been replaced by packs of five.  Our young friend was beside herself.  "They have ruined them!" she wailed.  A big campaign has begun to try to get Cadbury's to change the recipe back.  We think the chances are slim (unlike Creme Egg eaters) not just because Mondelēz is an evil American multinational (another friend explained how Kraft had previously ruined the Belgian Côte d'Or brand), nor that Americans have no idea about what constitutes good chocolate (Americans are good at producing many things: space rockets, iPods, sports shoes but chocolate, no) but because we think that their fans are so addicted that they will put up with a lesser product as it is better than no Creme Eggs at all.  We would love to see a Coca-Cola style u-turn but sadly this seems unlikely.

Triple P has only had a couple of these in his life and doesn't really understand the complaint about the change of chocolate as the interior is so overwhelmingly ghastly that we are amazed that anyone can taste the chocolate at all.  But Cadbury's official Creme Egg Facebook page is clocking up hundreds of complaints.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Ra Ra Ra Patriots!



So, a very exciting Superbowl in the end, with the result not settled until the last twenty seconds (how on earth did Seattle lose that one?). This was the first Superbowl, it seems, where both teams had their cheerleaders at the game.  We don't know if the TV director was a Seahawks fan but you wouldn't have known the New England ladies were there as every shot of the cheerleaders seemed to be of the Sea Gals (good grief - easily the most cringe-making name in the NFL).  But the babes from Boston had the last laugh so here, to redress the balance, are a nice half dozen  celebrating afterwards.  Now guess who has overdone the spray tan!

Wed take the one on the right straight back to our jacuzzi at the Arizona Biltmore Hotel after the game, thank you very much, and treat her to a Tequila Sunrise!

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Superbowl Cheerleaders: Seattle v New England


Seattle


It's Super Sunday today and Agent Triple P will be staying up late to watch the Superbowl as he has done for the last thirty years (this is our thirtieth anniversary game).  Here in Britain American Football is still regarded with some suspicion and not a little derision.  Reasons for this include the winners of the Superbowl calling themselves the World Champions (so, which other countries compete, exactly?), the padding and helmets (Rugby players don't ask for all that protection) and the existence of cheerleaders.  Whenever the new regular season games take place in London much is made of the presence of cheerleaders because they are such an alien concept here.  About the time we started watching American football we had a girlfriend who had gone to college in Miami.  Her best friend (who was British) went to live there when we knew her.  She was a keen sportswoman but was appalled by the attitude to women in sports she found in the US.  As she said, women's role seemed to be to prance around on the sidelines, wearing very little and going "ra ra ra!"


New England


Recently we have been watching, in slightly appalled fascination, the series Dallas Cheerleaders making the Team now, somewhat surprisingly considering the repetitive nature of the show, on its tenth season.  This reality show looks at the hundreds of young women trying out every year to join the squad.  We had appreciated that cheerleaders had to be fit, attractive and good at dancing but the level of punishment these girls have to go through to make the team was surprising.    The worst aspects seem to be abusive dance teachers, constant monitoring of weight (they have to go through a body mass assessment), long hours of training and a viciously competitive selection process.   All for what are notoriously bad wages.  Most girls seem to earn about $5 and hour and some teams don't pay anything at all, despite the dedication required.  They only get paid for game day, and they only perform at home games and make around $70-$150 for that.  They don't get paid for the up to six hours a day practice required.  Some teams even make their cheerleaders buy their own uniforms.  


Seattle


Even worse, the teams make a lot of money from cheerleaders merchandise with Dallas bringing in around $1 million a year (mainly from the cheerleaders swimsuit calendar).  The teams seem to think that because so many women want to be cheerleaders then why pay them properly?   The salaries for an entire squad for the season are less than half of one player on the non-playing practice team.


New England


Really, we are surprised that there isn't more of a storm about their existence at all.  To their credit only the New York Giants don't have cheerleaders for ethical reasons; the other teams who don't are located in very cold parts of the country.  


New England


Now Agent Triple P enjoys seeing fit young women dancing about but would feel happier if we felt they were getting paid for the commercial benefits they bring to very big business.  The teams, by seemingly arguing that they are giving the women an outlet for a dance hobby, are being hypocritical at best and exploitative at worst.  It's not like they are going to marry a rich footballer as most teams forbid fraternisation with the players. 


Seattle


At least both squads get to travel to the Superbowl game.  So let's spare a thought for the other athletes working out for four hours today!

Friday, January 9, 2015

The Full English Breakfast: The Magic Nine at Sainsbury's




Agent Triple P was having breakfast with A at Sainsbury's on Sunday and she pointed out that they had all the constituents for the Magic Nine of the Full English Breakfast.  Now although we knew you could pay extra to have additional items added to your big breakfast, as we usually order an extra egg, we hadn't spotted that there was another short list of things you could order on top, which included mushrooms.  So by ordering the big breakfast plus mushrooms and black pudding we could achieve the Full English Breakfast, albeit a rather bargain basement version.  In fact paying 79p for one rather under-cooked mushroom wasn't really good value but it enabled me to record, for the first time, a breakfast featuring the Magic Nine.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

More Laura Whitmore



To our shame, we continue to watch the dire I'm a Celebrity Get me out of Here Now! show just to gaze upon the Viagra substitutes which are Laura Whitmore's legs.  Her skirts have been getting so short we suspect that we will be able to see her knickers soon, with Friday's little white skirt being particularly effective.




The white skirt could even have been shorter than the fetching blue and white shorts she wore last Tuesday.














FHM, jumping on the bandwagon, have been quick to dig out some pictures of Laura taken a couple of years ago.  

Splendid!

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Nadia Forde

Nadia Forde ready for the jungle (in reality an old banana plantation very close to civilisation)


In 2006, singer Mylene Klass had a shower in a white bikini in series six of strangely addictive reality TV game show I'm a Celebrity get me out of Here.  The ratings were boosted enormously and became the number one viewed clip on YouTube for a time.  Not surprisingly, the producers have since actively sought out other young women who can do the same.  


Nadia Forde in I'm a Celebrity get me out of Here



This series' bikini totty is Irish model and singer Nadia Forde who nobody in Britain had heard of at all.  This is not surprising as many of the contestants are D list at best.   




No doubt Nadia is hoping for a similar raising of profile which Mylene achieved and a slightly revealing shot of her in the shower has already made the newspapers.




There have been some rude comments about her figure but Triple P thinks she looks delightfully womanly and not like a stick with stuck on plastic breasts like Kendra Wilkinson and Melanie Sykes.  Wide hips, solid haunches, soft looking stomach.  Perfect!




Since several previous contestants (such as Playboy Playmate Kayla Collins in 2010) have tried to launch swimsuit lines on the back (front?) of their I'm a Celebrity appearances the female contestants have been limited to just three bikinis.  Nadia has an animal print one, a  red one and this green one which made an appearance yesterday.




She has already taken the opportunity to launch her second calendar (above) while she is in the "jungle" and on the evidence of that she looks very fine indeed.




Nadia's only claim to fame, as far as British audiences go (she may be a little bit more famous in Ireland where she appears on a number of TV shows) is that she is the ex-girlfriend of golfer Rory McIlroy.  Or not.  They claim to be "just good friends".and she denies being the reason he broke up with Dansish tennis player Caroline Wozniacki.




Forde was born in Dublin in 1989.  From the age of nine she was brought up by her grandmother when her parents split up.  She has some Italian blood which explains her sultry looks, which are very much to Triple P's taste!




Best known for being a lingerie model, I'm a Celebrity is not her first experience of reality TV as she has been appearing in Nadia Goes to Hollywood on Irish TV.  This shows her recording her first single and trying out (unsuccessfully, presumably) to break America.




Her next single is due out in January and no doubt she will be hoping her jungle appearance will boost sales.  No doubt she will also employ tasteful outfits such as this, too.




She has also sung the Irish national anthem at an Irish international football match against Sweden last year.




She has appeared in FHM and ranked 94th in their 2014 sexiest women ranking.  No doubt she will be aiming for a higher score next year,




Nadia's modelling career really took off in 2009 when she was working part time at a radio station.  She seems serious about her music and that seems to be the area she wants to push.



She is friends with a number of other Irish models including Georgia Salpa, who we have featured on the Adventures of Triple P in the past.




So far, in the jungle she has not had a lot to do and her quiet demeanor means that she has been rather overwhelmed by some of the other more strident jungle inhabitants.   Maybe we need to see her eat some kangaroo testicles.




Still, she is a very lovely girl with that lovely lilting Irish accent (and Triple P has some fond memories of one Irish girl in particular) and she obviously has a master plan around pushing her career.  Let's hope she succeeds, as we would be very happy to see a lot more of her.