Monday, March 30, 2015

Thunderbabe! Tanusha Kyrano.

Well, Triple P is looking forward to the new animated Thunderbirds are Go! which started on Saturday and we hope they don't mess it up.  So far the clips we have seen look encouraging and it is a master stroke to bring back David Graham to voice Parker.  Apparently, the show is full of little references to the original series which Triple P loved when it first came out a terrifying fifty years ago.  Somewhere there is a picture of a five year old Triple P with an International Rescue hat!  

The special effects are by Weta Workshop, although this is not necessarily a guarantee of quality, as a lot of their CGI in the The Hobbit films was awful.  Interestingly, the sets will be miniatures with the characters and craft CGI.   We found the miniature sets in the original Lord of the Rings films far superior to the all CGI ones in The Hobbit. The biggest negative for Triple P will be the lack of Barry Gray's stupendous music: some of the best TV incidental music ever written.   

It being the twenty-first century we have to have some fiesty female characters added, to give the girls (and some boys!) someone of interest to root for.  Principal among these is Tanusha "Kayo" Kyrano the Tracy's Head of Security.  She also brings some ethnic diversity into the cast and appears to have been modelled on Angelina Jolie.

Originally her forbear, Tin-Tin Kyrano, was supposed to be a gifted scientist but in the 1960s show from fifty years ago she seemed to mainly make the coffee and be Alan Tracy's girlfriend (even though he looked completely gay).  Originally a Malaysian, in the dreadful live action film of 2004 she was Indian, as played by Vanessa Hudgens.  

They have dropped the Tin-Tin name (probably to avoid confusion with the Belgian boy detective) but Tanusha is, again, an Indian name, although her actual nationality hasn't been made clear.  It would have been more interesting to have her as a Malaysian as there are plenty of Indian characters on British TV.

Anyway, for Triple P it is all about the Thunderbird craft and they have updated them in a reasonably subtle way, although we don't like the new Thunderbird 2 which was a design classic (as was Thunderbird 3).  The new Thundervird 5 owes nothing to the original but Gerry Anderson hated the Thunderbird 5 from his original series so that isn't such a bad thing.


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

The Big Painting Challenge

Agent Triple P isn't sure quite how many Great British-type (insert tedious domestic subject - Bake-off, Sewing Bee, interior design challenge) competition programmes the BBC can come up with but we are quite enjoying the new one on painting.  Here a group of ten amateur artists are set challenges every week (portraiture, still life, perspective, buildings, landscapes etc.) and have to produce three artworks per week in a knock-out competition.  Not surprisingly, given its 6.00pm time slot they are not being asked to do a life drawing which is an odd omission, otherwise, in covering artistic genres.  The BBC should have brazened it out and had them all poised around some (no doubt) fat ugly naked people.  Oh well.

Or they could have drawn one of the contestants: Twenty year old Cambridge University languages student, the luminously lovely Claire Parker, who is a perfect Pre-Raphaelite subject.  As an artist himself Triple P would love to see Claire lightly draped in some see-through fabric, lolling on a marble bench like an Alma-Tadema painting come to life.  Splendid!

Monday, March 9, 2015

Victoria Pendleton to take up horse racing

Possessor of Agent Triple P's favourite sporting posterior, Olympic gold medal winning track cyclist Victoria Pendleton has announced that she is taking up National Hunt (over the jumps) horse racing.   Thirty-four year old Pendleton is aiming to compete in the 2016 Cheltenham Festival.

Although we are worried about the dangers of this activity it will be splendid to see La Pendleton in tight breeches, taut thighs braced and wielding a riding whip.  As Shakespeare would no doubt have said: "Oh lucky horse to bear the weight of Victoria!"

Following her retirement from cycling after the 2012 Olympics she bemoaned the loss of muscle in her thighs so it is good to see her choosing a sport which will keep her nether regions nicely toned once more!   Good luck Victoria!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Nazi Coke

It seems almost inconceivable that the makers of the 75th anniversary advertisement for Fanta seemed unaware of the drink's origins in Nazi Germany.  Triple P remembers going on a course where a case study was presented on the fact that due to allied embargoes German Coca-Cola bottling plants couldn't get the syrup from the US needed to make Coca-Cola so invented Fanta instead.   Nearly everyone we know calls Fanta "Nazi Coke" but then the advertising agency who produced the commercial, which seemed to equate the words "good old times" with wartime Germany, is probably run by twenty five year olds with no concept of history.


Monday, March 2, 2015

What's on the box?

The box is something of an old fashioned term for TV these days, given that most people have decidedly unbox-like flat screen TVs.  Triple P's friend Agent DVD has an old Sony 37" CRT TV stuck in his dining room and keeps asking if Triple P would like it. This is very kind but although we might have a slot for it upstairs it weighs 100kg which makes the prospect of lugging it upstairs not very appealing!

Anyway, Triple P watches nearly all of his TV shows as DVD boxed (not 'box') sets but his comparatively new fibreoptic cable system does make it much easier to record (we still use the word 'tape'!) programmes currently showing, without having to wait for the DVDs to come out.

Still, there are comparatively few dramas we watch regularly on TV but here they are.  Illustrated with some of the lovely actresses involved.

Wolf Hall (Series two)

Jessica Raine as Jane Boleyn

Much heralded but glacially slow Tudor drama.  We have managed to watch the first two (of six) programmes but now need to catch up on the last four (it finished last week) with the person we have been watching them with. Caused a stir in Britain the other week when a character used the word 'cunt' (in a perfectly, historically accurate anatomical sense).  Still, prudes were shocked.  A new series is likely if the show does as well at awards time as the BBC hope.

Indian Summers (Series one)

Amber Rose Revah in Indian Summers

Sumptuously produced and beautifully filmed original drama about the British in the Indian hill station of Simla in the nineteen thirties.  They have managed to make each character in the large ensemble cast  identifiably distinct, which is a great achievement.  There has been one sensual scene in each episode so far; nudity free but quite erotic nonetheless.  The scene where one of the leading male characters is patently fingering a lady underneath her dress was surprisingly frank for this sort of show. Hopefully, the programme will continue for the planned future series and, indeed series two was commissioned a couple of days ago.

Mr Selfridge (Series three)

Kara and Hannah Tointon in Mr Selfridge

Downmarket Downton, but this series has shown some new great CGI shots of Oxford street and the Selfridge store.  This new season features the delicious Tointon sisters, although we might have hoped for a few lingerie sccnes for them a la Lesley-Anne Down in Upstairs Dowstairs!  The next series is likely to be the last, according to creator Andrew Davies who only ever conceived four series.

The Musketeers (Series two)

Catherine Salt: the thigh's the limit

Created, oddly, by the man responsible for time travelling dinosaur drama, Primeval, this second series is more spectacular, more violent and has had some nicely sensual scenes, thanks to it's new post 9.00 pm time slot.  Catherine Salt's scene in a window providing a particularly effective paean to the erotic power of the back of the thighs.  A third series has just been announced. 

Atlantis (Series two)

Aiysha Hart

Nicely produced (although they did seem to be trekking through exactly the same wood in every episode) this show (very) loosely based on ancient Greek legends never really settled on its style.  Always fun to watch with some nice wine, and a few olives (they ate a lot of olives in this programme), the second season has been better but not enough to save itself from cancellation, sadly.  Annoyingly, they showed half of the series and then went in for the strange American habit of stopping it for a couple of months before showing the second half of the series.  The last seven episodes are due to be shown in the spring.  Sadly, they will probably spend the budget on more grim crime dramas which the BBC loves.  Triple P doesn't want to watch contemporary shows about criminals and policemen. We really don't!  We want sunshine and pretty girls in floaty dresses, sword fights, ancient palaces and olives! 

Gotham (Season one)

Gotham's pint-sized Camren Bicondova

We have really enjoyed this Batman origins show, which has been visually strong and interestingly cast.  Like most American shows it went into a hiatus (why do they do this?) but the second half of the season is due to start showing this month.  Has been successful in the US so the first season was extended and a second series commissioned. 

Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Season two)

A couple of improvements to the S.H.I.E.L.D. universe

Triple P knows nothing of the comic book characters, other than what we have gleaned from the various Avengers films, so miss a lot of the background and don't recognise some of the characters.  The last episode before the break was totally confusing and we had no idea what was going on so, hopefully, there will be some recap when it returns this month.  We won't know if it has been renewed until around May.  Sadly, no one in the UK bought the Agent Carter spin-off, with the delicious Hayley Atwell, which filled the gap in the schedule in the US.  Let's hope we can eventually get it on DVD.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Creme Eggs - even more revolting than before

Louise Thompson in some real Creme Eggs

Agent Triple P has never had a sweet tooth and remembers his father telling him that "chocolate was for children".  He has, however, associated with a large number of chocolate loving women and one of these was recently moaning about the ruination of the Cadbury's Creme egg by its hated American owners.

Now, personally,  we have always thought that the Creme Egg (first sold in 1963) was one of the most disgusting confections ever made; with sweet Dairy Milk chocolate enrobing (as much posher chocolatiers would say) an almost indescribable mix of sugary yellow and white fondant filling.   However, some women become addicted to these tooth-rotting treats.  We even knew a girl who would grant sexual favours for a six pack of creme eggs (at least to Triple P - we hoped she didn't do that to everyone she met).  Another girl we knew used a Creme Egg to recreate the notorious scene from Japanese erotic classic Ai no Korīda  with predictably messy results.  Creme Eggs are most unusual in that they have a fixed season and are only available from 1st January until Easter Day.  In this period Cadbury's sells more than 200 million of them in Britain.

Now, however, with the hostile acquisition of Cadbury by Kraft four years ago, it is now owned by its spin off, Mondelēz, which is one of those made up corporate nonsense names with no heritage whatsoever (see also Lexus, Häagen-Dazs, Accenture etc.) as opposed to Cadbury established by John Cadbury in 1824.  In fact, said young lady we mentioned before actually lived in Bourneville, the Cadbury company town established in 1879 near Birmingham.

The press over here has been full of the news that the Dairy Milk chocolate always used on the eggs has been replaced with an inferior type for this season.  Also, the boxes of six (which copy the way real eggs are sold, of course) have been replaced by packs of five.  Our young friend was beside herself.  "They have ruined them!" she wailed.  A big campaign has begun to try to get Cadbury's to change the recipe back.  We think the chances are slim (unlike Creme Egg eaters) not just because Mondelēz is an evil American multinational (another friend explained how Kraft had previously ruined the Belgian Côte d'Or brand), nor that Americans have no idea about what constitutes good chocolate (Americans are good at producing many things: space rockets, iPods, sports shoes but chocolate, no) but because we think that their fans are so addicted that they will put up with a lesser product as it is better than no Creme Eggs at all.  We would love to see a Coca-Cola style u-turn but sadly this seems unlikely.

Triple P has only had a couple of these in his life and doesn't really understand the complaint about the change of chocolate as the interior is so overwhelmingly ghastly that we are amazed that anyone can taste the chocolate at all.  But Cadbury's official Creme Egg Facebook page is clocking up hundreds of complaints.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Ra Ra Ra Patriots!

So, a very exciting Superbowl in the end, with the result not settled until the last twenty seconds (how on earth did Seattle lose that one?). This was the first Superbowl, it seems, where both teams had their cheerleaders at the game.  We don't know if the TV director was a Seahawks fan but you wouldn't have known the New England ladies were there as every shot of the cheerleaders seemed to be of the Sea Gals (good grief - easily the most cringe-making name in the NFL).  But the babes from Boston had the last laugh so here, to redress the balance, are a nice half dozen  celebrating afterwards.  Now guess who has overdone the spray tan!

Wed take the one on the right straight back to our jacuzzi at the Arizona Biltmore Hotel after the game, thank you very much, and treat her to a Tequila Sunrise!