Agent Triple P and Agent DVD were trying to catch the Waterloo and City Line train this morning and it was even more crowded than usual and we had to let several trains go before we could get on.
The problem is that there are now too many people travelling and all the discipline of the old days, where people queued up in two lines for each door, has gone. There are too reasons for this: Firstly, women (who are the most aggressive at pushing in) and secondly, foreigners, who don't know the rules.
Take that, Frenchie!
Agent DVD has found a potential solution to dealing with the numbers: importing a few seal clubbers from Newfoundland. He reckons that a a quick cull would make things much more pleasant and I have to say this sounds like an excellent idea.
The key problem we identified, however, was that the cowardly Mooseheads can only deal with something lying immobile on the floor. The solution was to announce an "every body lie on the floor and keep still" alarm over the intercom. But how would you identify the foreigners to be culled? Easy; make your announcements in Johnny Foreign. Starting with French, naturally. It's unfortunate that you might cull a few language students but that serves them right for being know it all show-offs.
The second problem is how not to club any attractive women. You would need a handy team with a hook on a pole (I'm sure the Newfies have such a thing) who could roll over any girls onto their backs so a quick assessment could be made and then, "thwack!", the ugly ones could be dealt with.
Agent Triple P congratulates Agent DVD on his elegant solution to this problem. No wonder that he is Deep Thought within his steel pickle.