Robin Johnstone demonstrates the critically important upper thigh separation
The quality gap between Strictly Come Dancing and Dancing on Ice gets ever wider. From the point of view of enjoying an hour or so of flexible, underdressed totty on TV DoI is suffering due to the fact that it's women professional skaters are just not as attractive as Strictly's dancers.
Brianne Delacourt flaunts it
This year's female competitors are a sorry lot too. An unattractive Marxist politician (get back to work - oh, excellent, you have to now), a woman from a reality TV show who was out so quickly we didn't even register her, TV presenter Anthea Turner who is so crass that she advertised chocolate bars at her own wedding and an Olympic gymnast who looks like she has fallen into a tub of Botox and subsequently emerged looking exactly like the mummy of King Rameses II Triple P saw in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo. Pamela Anderson, who floated around in a haze of soft focus before being kicked out on the first episode (much to the producers chagrin, no doubt), hasn't been attractive since February 1990.
Samia's partner practices getting his angle of attack right for later
The sixth girl, Samia somebody or other, who, as Paul Simon would have said is "alright in a sort of a limited way for an off night" did display a bit of passion in her skate this week but then that is probably because she is widely rumoured to have started bonking her professional skating partner before the show even started.
Fortunately this week, we had two of the professional skaters in micro denim effect shorts so small that we are surprised that the Daily Mail hasn't already launched a campaign to stop "unacceptably raunchy" costumes. Very much the highlight of the series so far.