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Friday, November 8, 2013

Jaimie Alexander in Azzaro at the Thor premier in Los Angeles

Agent Triple P had never heard of actress Jaimie Alexander until she appeared at the Thor premier this week in this extraordinary Azzaro dress.  Publicity objective triumphantly achieved, as only such a striking frock can do.  Lots of snide comments from female fashion commentators of course but that is because none of them could carry it off.

We thought the similarly revealing Gwyneth Paltrow one earlier in the year was a bit manky but that's because we think Gwyneth Paltrow is a bit manky.  Miss Alexander carries hers off brilliantly, however, and it is very revealing indeed.  Paltrow looked desperate but Alexander looks elegantly erotic.

In fact it is a perfect exemplar of original Star Trek costume designer William Ware Thiess' titillation theory that "the degree to which a costume is considered sexy is directly proportional to how accident-prone it appears to be".  

Andorran-owned French fashion house Azzaro was founded by Franco-Sicilian designer Loris Azzaro (1933-2003) in 1962.  This dress heads up their Spring/Summer 2014 collection.  Azzaro was quoted as saying when talking about his approach to dress designing that “the right dress must make the man want to tear it off”.  He would have approved of this, we suspect.

Unusually, we think Miss Alexander actually looks better than the model in Azzaro's publicity shot for the dress.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Strictly Siren: Rachel Riley booted out

Luscious Countdown cutie Rachel Riley was unfairly voted into the dance off on Strictly Come Dancing last night despite receiving her highest score.  She had no chance of being saved by the judges when up against the peerless Abbey Clancy (who also should not have been in the bottom two either but probably was included due to a magnificent display of her taut abdomen which would have had all the fat women in prawn coloured velour tracksuits at home hissing into their high fat microwave curries).

To be honest we only had vague knowledge of Miss Riley as the somewhat controversial successor to the slightly creepy Carol Vorderman as the hostess of the words and numbers game show.

The same prawn coloured velour tracksuit wearing women thought Miss Riley had just been hired on her looks (on television, surely not?) and didn't approve of her very small dresses when she took over the role in 2009.

Anyway, Agent Triple P was impressed by Ms Riley's fine form and no doubt the dance training helped to tone her already impressive rear and thighs.

In fact, her behind was the best of any of the women celebrities in this year's competition and was better than some of the professional dancer's as well.

Still only 27 (she shares a birthday with Agent Triple P) Ms Riley is from Essex but got a maths degree from Oriel College Oxford so isn't just a pretty bottom.  She got the job in 2008 at the age of 22, beating off 1000 other candidates, almost immediately after graduating from Oxford. 

When Triple P was at Oxford, Oriel was a male only college full of hefty rowers and, the legend goes, that when they were forced to go mixed the college recruited a lot of really tiny girls who would make excellent rowing coxes.

We are disappointed that she didn't go further in the competition but coming from a non performance or modelling background she was always going to struggle with projecting her personality on the dance floor.

Sadly, these fine projections weren't enough to garner her enough votes to stay in.