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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Calendar Girl December: Naya Rivera



Well, our final young lady for 2012 was another one we had never heard of.  Miss Naya Rivera is an American actress and, latterly, singer who had a part in a series called Glee, which is very popular with teenage girls.




She played a lesbian cheerleader which is, of course, the best kind. She is apparently very religious and has been criticised for playing this part by other religious people in America.





Religious or not see seems, thankfully, very happy to pose about in not many clothes for the likes of FHM and Maxim; which has given her respectable scores in their annual sexiest women charts (39 for FHM and 27 for Maxim in 2012).  The AfterEllen lesbian website voted her number one on their Hot 100 list in both 2011 and 2012.




This is our favourite shot of her looking all junglicious in her little pink swimsuit.  Agent Triple P certainly goes for the dark and sultry type and she is part Puerto Rican which explains her looks.  Triple P visited Puerto Rico once and found that there were a lot of very attractive women there.




Naya actually had her first acting role as a baby and seems to have been acting pretty constantly since the age of four (she is now twenty-six). 




She doesn't have a particularly exciting figure but makes the best of it and her belly button is very inviting.  Gorgeous hair, though!




So that's it for 2012's calendar girls.  We are sorry we got so behind with them but we are now in a position to post January 2013 actually within the month and then, hopefully, get the rest of the year's appearing at the beginning of the month!





Monday, January 21, 2013

Something interesting at last in Dancing on Ice...



Robin Johnstone demonstrates the critically important upper thigh separation


The quality gap between Strictly Come Dancing and Dancing on Ice gets ever wider.  From the point of view of enjoying an hour or so of flexible, underdressed totty on TV DoI is suffering due to the fact that it's women professional skaters are just not as attractive as Strictly's dancers.


Brianne Delacourt flaunts it


This year's female competitors are a sorry lot too.  An unattractive Marxist politician (get back to work - oh, excellent, you have to now), a woman from a reality TV show who was out so quickly we didn't even register her, TV presenter Anthea Turner who is so crass that she advertised chocolate bars at her own wedding and an Olympic gymnast who looks like she has fallen into a tub of Botox and subsequently emerged looking exactly like the mummy of King Rameses II Triple P saw in the Egyptian Museum in Cairo.   Pamela Anderson, who floated around in a haze of soft focus before being kicked out on the first episode (much to the producers chagrin, no doubt), hasn't been attractive since February 1990.  


Samia's partner practices getting his angle of attack right for later


The sixth girl, Samia somebody or other, who, as Paul Simon would have said is "alright in a sort of a limited way for an off night" did display a bit of passion in her skate this week but then that is probably because she is widely rumoured to have started bonking her professional skating partner before the show even started.




Fortunately this week, we had two of the professional skaters in micro denim effect shorts so small that we are surprised that the Daily Mail hasn't already launched a campaign to stop "unacceptably raunchy" costumes.    Very much the highlight of the series so far.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Calendar Girl November: Britney Spears



We are just getting the last of the 2012 calendar girls out of the way so we can, hopefully, have the right girl in the right month for 2013.  November's choice was, the now rather unfashionable, Britney Spears who has deteriorated, over the last few years, faster than a Sicilian mama. 


Britney does clingy rather effectively


Her inclusion by FHM begs the question, of course, as to whether Britney was ever sexy or was she just faux sexy as driven by a publicity machine that had her dressed as a schoolgirl (when she was sixteen) in her first hit.  We are sure that you could write a fairly substantial PhD on the contribution of Miss Spears to popular culture over the last fifteen years.  




Of course, to what extent she drove her own image (it was she who suggested the school uniform in the Baby One More Time video, apparently) in that short phase when she was, indeed, attractive we don't know.








Certainly, she exhibited the classic signs of a young star wanting to be more adult, perhaps contrary to the wished of her management.




She did pose for some very fine pictures and although we find her music quite hideous (apart from Toxic which we quite enjoy and that is not just because of the Alias inspired video) we would definitely say that in her heyday she projected a desirable image.


Shiny!


Unfortunately, of course, this is tempered by the knowledge we have of her somewhat odd personality.  She is now thirty one and should be in her prime as a woman but the years haven't been kind to her; but drink drugs and smoking are not the recipe for a youthful look.




Agent Triple P did see her once, in California, when he was staying at his usual Los Angeles hotel, the Fairmont Miramar in Santa Monica.   She was lounging by the pool in a bikini and looked rather fine, we thought.


"That's it love, just lean forward a bit more!  A bit more!  We want to see your lovely...smile!"


So, all in all, we cannot dismiss Miss Spears as, for all her faults, she was, at one point, a rather lovely looking girl and watching wholesome turn slutty is always an enjoyable transformation to observe.





Sunday, January 6, 2013

Calendar Girl October: Millie Mackintosh



Millie Mackintosh is one of the stars of the largely fake reality show Made in Chelsea which, as far as Triple P can see, involves a lot of Sloanes being pursued by particularly slimy Arabs.  Or not.  It's very popular with fifteen year olds anyway but is not the sort of thing we would be interested in watching.  Miss Mackintosh appears to be not remotely interesting in any way other than the fact that she is the heiress to the Mackintoshes chocolate fortune.  That, as one of Triple P's own Sloaney friends would have said, means that her money is "trade" and she is, as a result, socially demeaned.




She appears to be the girlfriend of  a particularly talentless and charismatically challenged DJ/rapper who calls himself Professor Green (who is white - there is nothing sadder than a white rapper).  We have caught several of his "performances" on TV and they are particularly tragic.  Enjoy your fifteen minutes Millie and anyway you always have the Quality Street to fall back on.





Jade Ewen..ruined by tattoos



A lovely girl - ruined


We have always admired the lovely singer Jade Ewen since she appeared on our radar as Britain's entry to the Eurovision Song Contest in 2009.  Since joining the Sugababes her profile has increased to the extent that, thankfully, she was signed up to be the "face" of Miss Ultimo lingerie a couple of years ago.  However minor celebrities are always looking for more exposure and when you have a body as splendid as Miss Ewen's what better way to expose yourself than in a swimsuit.  So she signed up for a new series on ITV called Splash!.


Why despoil this?


This, although it may be hard to believe, is a reality show where "celebrities" are taught to dive by Olympic Bronze medal winner Tom Daley, the former wunderkind of world diving, whose image took a bit of a hammering at the Olympics when he was expected to win gold.  The celebrities then compete on live TV.  Without boring everyone with the details, this was, without doubt, one of the most inept TV shows we have ever seen.  Ninety minutes of airtime for 15 seconds of action with hopeless presentation, production and even photography.  Having flashing lights and getting everyone to act like Americans does not generate excitement.  This was not some minor station either, this was our main commercial TV station at 7.15 on a Saturday night.  It makes you realise what a polished production Strictly Come Dancing is.


Horrid!


There was but one highlight as the camera followed Jade's incredibly taut looking posterior, barely clad in gold bikini bottoms, up the ladder of the diving board.  Having completed her (fairly average) dive as the first competitor she then did not put on the usual bathrobe (as most of the other competitors did) but sat there in her gold bikini for the rest of the (seemingly endless) show.  We are sure that she was asked to do this and we are very grateful!


The one highlight of the show


However, Miss Ewen has dropped in our estimations as she revealed a truly horrendous tattoo on her side which we hadn't observed before.  Why do lovely young women despoil themselves with this barbaric body mutiliation?   When Triple P was young only sailors had tattoos but now they are becoming horribly common.  There are other ways to temporarily decorate your skin if you should so desire; some of them lasting for weeks but something as permanent as a tattoo really is beyond me, especially as, however well they are done, after a few decades (if not earlier) they dissolve into blotchy blue patches.  Horrendous!